My short Story: "True, Whether Always True?"

On the night of Ramadhan, when the sun did smile to the earth and sang a beauty song for all creature. Trees prostrated to the almighty Allah. But in the nice situation like that, stars still felt sad behind clouds. Wind walked without eye and map, it made me must used sweater.
In Sabillal Muttaqin mosque. I and friends stayed in the mosque because of the almighty Allah or usually called ‘itikaf for three days. We started from Sunday, the last week of Ramadhan. We were about fourten persons.There, I can extended my knowledge about islam and I could ask many question to Mr. Nashrullah Atha. Because he followed it with us too. He was a teacher in one of islamic school. Besides he had high knowledge about Fiqih and ushul fiqih, his knowledge about biology and chemistry were high enough too. So, he could tell about fiqih and ushul fiqih with scientific approach.
The last night, when all of my friends were sleeping. I went out from the mosque to its terrace. Although cold, I sat there and did sum myself. I felt sad and doubt about my activity before. I always made sins with my eyes, ears, hands, mouth etc.
I closed my eyes. Tried to cried, but I couldn’t do it. I didn’t know, whether my sins are too much. Maybe my heart was too black for it. I was so sad till I didn’t feel anything when many mosquitos bite myself.
Suddenly, one of my friend, Roni. Walked to approach me when I was still sitting and closing my eyes.
“ Zayed,, why were you sad? Were you ok?”
“ I was fine Ron,,,. No problem here...” I said.
“ Zayed, you must be honest to me. We were still in Ramadhan”
“ Ok..., I was feeling so sad. My sins were too much. Could I go into the heaven?”
“ Friend, didn’t say like that.. we had to be optimist. We must believe we could into the heaven. You knowed, we were human, the best creature” Roni said with his spirit.
“ So, you said that go into the heaven was easy. Didn’t you?”
“ I though like that..., because Islam was easy”
“ Ok..., thanks for your advices. But, now I wanted to be alone. Friend, may Allah bleassed you and your family! And please leaved me alone”
Roni got into the mosque. I believed he could understand me. Now, my sadness increased. My question change for easy or hard into the heaven.
I was still sitting on the terrace of the mosque. I opened my eyes and looked at the sky to though about it. I only saw the sun without its friends, the stars. I saw the sun, were my sins as big as the sun there? And was my heart as black as the sky now? .Than, I closed my eyes again and said “ Astaghfirullah...”
The time showed 00.00 am. My sleepy was gone. I could’t sleep, I was so fear if tomorrow I died. Now, night more black than before. Coldness began go into mybody. It told to me that morning will there was here and night will was died soon.
Suddenly, another myfriend came to me. His name was Rajian. He was older than me, but he was enjoyable.
“ Peace be upon you” Rajian said
“ Peace be upon you too”
“ Why didn’t you sleep now?”
“ I had a big problem. Could you help me?”
“ Of course I will helped you because you were mybrother in Islam. What was your problem?”
“ Let me told you,did you think it was easy or hard to went into the heaven?”
Rajian was so doubt. Then he closed his eyes and harrowed his head. I believed he could give me an answer.
“ Zayed, I had though about it. The conclusion, into the heaven was hard. The reason, our condition couldn’t help me for say prayer to Allah, and too many negative activities in our environment.”
“ What?” I said
“ Yes,got into the heaven was very hard. Therefore, we had to said prayer to Allah hardly.
“ So.. it was hard. Were you sure?”
“ Yeah..., so if you wanted into the heaven. You must managed your heart well. If there was small conceited, it could make us into the hell. Remember, The fuel of hell were stones and humans.”
“ You were right...”
“ Once again. We must managed our eyes, brain, ears and mouths well too. If we did not, they could make much mistakes, mistake could make sins and sins were key of the hell”
“ Ya.. moreever, now too many human couldn’t managed thier performance to agree with islam”
“ Now I was so sleepy. I wanted to sleep” Rajian says
“ sure...” I said
Now I was alone. After I got many advices from Rajian. My doubt increased more than before. I got two different answers. But they couldn’t clean my doubt in heart. I tried to make conclusion, that “ in the theory into the heaven was easy, but in reality was hard”.
Although I got conclusion, I still couldn’t sleep. I didn’t know, whether my conclision was true or still false.